Sorry I haven’t written in a few days. I’m sure you understand why.

Yesterday Mari and I went to Oslo to have a talk with one of my teachers. I’m missing so much important because of my illness. Right now we have one of the biggest assignment this semester – magazine design. It’ll be so hard to catch up with the others. The teacher told me that I can get private lectures or I can go this semester next year instead. I really don’t want to postpone!
After school we went to a coffee shop so that I could get some rest, I get tired fast these days. And then we stopped by my work to say hello to some friends. It was nice to get out. I’m so greatful Mari offered to drive me:)

Today I was at the hospital for some last tests before the operation tomorrow. Then I went to the movies with a friend of mine to get my mind off tomorrows event. We saw The Green Hornet. Funny movie. You should see it!

Right now I wish I could be somewhere else or just someONE else. I don’t want to have operation tomorrow, I’m still tired and hurting after the previews one. My stomach is twisting and turning, tiers are finding their way out of my eyes and I can’t stop thinking. I don’t want to, I want to be healthy. Why the fuck did I get cancer? Unfair!

Or maybe just one you don’t want to see. lol! I’m posting it anyway.

My mother took a photo of me the first day at the hospital right after I came down from the operation or the awakening room. I was talking to someone on the phone, not sure who. I was kinda drugged at this moment so I don’t remember much. It’s not a nice sight but I though maybe you would want to see… or not…

Two days after the surgery one of my roomies, Marius, stopped by to see how I was doing. He brought flowers and a fashion magazine. All my roomies had chipped in to give me a little something. I was so surprised to see him there. And so happy!

One day before I went home from the hospital my mother took this photo of me. I look a little better here. The tubes in my throat are gone.

I’m alive.

I came home from the hospital today, could have gone home yesterday but I wasn’t feeling well. I fainted when I woke up yesterday, weird feeling, so I decided to stay one more day. I was supposed to go home the day after the operation but nothing went as planned. The operation lasted for four hours instead of two. The doctor took away tons of cancer (nasty thing to say) on the right side of my throat/neck. Everything inside my throat is all fucked up. I hate it. When I woke up from the anesthetics I was so confused and my arms was hurting so bad because they were in a weird position under the operation. Other than that I wasn’t in too much pain. I had two tubes going into my throat, in Norwegian it is called “dren”. The tubes gets rid of all the blood and operation fluid. It’s quite nasty and a hell to remove. I was in so much pain when they took the first tube, it was 15 cm inside my neck. The other one was not that far inside, but it was more painful to get out.

I never got to tell you about the “bad” news I got at the hospital on Monday. The doctor told me that if I have cancer in my thyroid, something the doctors at Rikshospitalet and Radiumhospitalet still wasn’t sure about, I have to go through two operations. Of course it was cancer. Therefore I have a new operation date Wednesday, January 26. I’m so f**king nervous!

The operation is tomorrow.

I’m so nervous! I can’t write anymore today, I need to get some sleep. I got some “bad” news from the hospital today, which I’ll tell you all about when I get well enough to write again after the surgery. Maybe I’ll get some time before the operation…

Wish me luck

This weekend has been crazy. Too much alcohol. Too much beer. It was fun, but I’m just so tired now. I should have rested instead of partying, because of my operation tomorrow. I forgot I brought my camera so there’s not many photos from the weekend. Here’s some though. There was only two photos of me and I closed my eyes in both of them. Lol!

My brother and Chavo


I censored my eyes because I looked so bad:P

My cousin and her boyfriend.

My aunt

My grandfather, the birthday boy with new clothes:)

Since I’ve been a little down lately because I’ve started thinking about what’s gonna happen in five days, my dear roomie Marius is taking me to the movies. We’re going to see Kongen av Bastøy, a Norwegian movie. In English I think it’s called something like “King of Devil’s Island”. I hope it’s good:) It’s based on a true story. The cinema we’re going to lets you bring beer inside to drink while you watch the movie and we are soooo doing that!!:D lol! Have fun tonight guys, I know I will. Bye!

My favorite scarf<3

After school I stopped by Monki just to look. That never works. I always end up buying something. I will show you how everything looks on later, it doesn’t look so good on the hanger:P

Dress from Monki, on sale.

Trousers from Monki. They are high waist:)

I didn’t sleep last night. At least not until late. I’m lying awake thinking to much about everything. Lately I’ve started thinking about the operation, which is in five days. I’m really nervous. I know I shouldn’t cause I’m in good hands, but I do. I hate it! I wish the day could just come, so that I can be done with everything.

Last night I thought about the day I got the bad news from the hospital, that was the day I was going to sign up for the Hemsedal trip with my school. The one I joined last year. It was so much fun and I was looking forward to going again this year. But as soon as I got the diagnose I changed my mind, I didn’t sign up because I was afraid I would get the operation the same date or that I had just had it and was to sick to go. It’s so weird thinking about that now since the trip is this Sunday to Wednesday and my operation is on Tuesday. It’s like I had this feeling back then. I’m glad I didn’t sign up, it saved me a lot of money actually. The good thing about this is that just three days after I got the diagnose, my father sent me a text telling me that we are going to celebrate my grandfathers 80th birthday that same weekend I was supposed to go to Hemsedal. They have rented the nicest cabins in Norefjell (with ski-in/ski-out!!!!!!!) and we’re leaving Friday morning and will be back Sunday night. It is so perfect! I get to go snowboarding after all:) I just have to remember to dress worm and not drink too much alcohol, if I get sick now they won’t do the operation and I really don’t want to wait any longer.

I should go to bed now, early school tomorrow. Hope I fall asleep sooner tonight!

I didn’t come up with a letter yesterday, I had too much on my mind and was not in the mood to do school work. Instead I made a letter in a hurry at school today, it tuned out okay. Everyone had made something and in groups we switched letters and then we made changes to it by hand instead of using photoshop. Caroline and I decided to work together. We painted, me made a mess and we put stuff together we usually wouldn’t. When we were done we posted the letter on It’s Learning for other students to take and continue to work on. In the end my letter will probably don’t look anything like it does right now. Sort of a little art-by-accident task.

First day of school after Christmas break is officially over. We started a new task, don’t quite know what the final result will be like, since the teachers are not telling us. We are collaboration with the other NKF schools in Norway via It’s learning. In the next few days we will probably understand more about the task. I know it has something to do with post cards. And we were given a season to get our inspiration from. My group got the summer. For tomorrow I have to make a letter in some kind of creative way. I’m totally blank at the moment but hopefully I’ll come up with something cool by the end of the day.

This is what I wore at school today. I really wanted to wear the new sweater and I must say I absolutely LOVE it!

Jeans from Cheap Monday, sweater from H&M and scarf from Indiska.

Bracelet from Bianco, rings from Top Shop and Cocoo.

Tomorrow my Christmas break is over and I start school again. I’m not ready yet, but who are, right?

When I was in England with my family in November I bought a new nail polish from Top Shop. I haven’t had the time to try it out before now. I absolutely love it. It has this kind of brownish red color to it. Kinda like a rusty red. It doesn’t show as good in the photo though. The color is called Moving House.

Trend is the most exclusive department you can find at H&M. The clothes are a little bit more expensive than the other departments but you’ll get rare, more fashionable pieces. In Norway there is only three H&M stores with Trend, all three are located in Oslo. I’m not sure how it is in other countries.

Yesterday when I was working i came over this beautiful sweater thingy from Trend. I work on the second floor, while Trend is on the first floor. A customer had brought it upstairs to try it and left it on the rack, just for me!:)

Love it!

I just got back from work. Well, that’s a lie… I got back two hours ago. I’ve even managed to watch a movie, which I absolutely loved. I saw Feast of love, such a beautiful/sad movie. You should see it! This is what I wore at work today:


Jeans from Cheap Monday, sweater and shoes from H&M.

The last couple of days has been so weird. I’m always tired. I think I’ve gotten around 10-12 hours of sleep every night. I know I’m just tired because I sleep too much and since I don’t have any other stuff to do I just feel like sleeping. Since I got back from Liverpool all I’ve done is waiting. Waiting for that stupid letter from the hospital telling me the operation date. I was hoping I would get the surgery this week so that I would be ready for school on Monday. Finally my father called the hospital early today to figure out what’s going on. I hate waiting and so does he. He called me up right after and told me I will be operating Tuesday, January 18. That’s in eleven days…

The stupid thing about that date is that I’ve already started school. This is my last semester and I don’t want to be behind on my assignments. I don’t even know how I will feel after the surgery. Will I be abel to go to school right away? Will I be feeling so bad that I have to stay at home for several days..weeks? I hate this thing. I wish I could just get rid of it without all the pain. Without the stupid operation. fml.

My grandmother got home from the hospital some days before new years eve. She’s still not feeling well, but she’s a strong woman and I know she’ll get through this. My mother went to visit her this weekend and when she came back she gave me this really cute little gift from my grandmother. I love it!